Profile PictureOffbeat Empire LLC

Lapdances4god: 30 days of conscious dance

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Are you ready to find joy in your body?

Get in touch with your body and your soul with a daily devotional movement practice from the founder of Offbeat Wed.

Lapdances4god is a 30-day self-directed course that helps you create an intuitive movement practice that brings connection, sensuality, and a powerful spiritual practice into your life.

Do you feel weirdly disconnected from your body?

  • Do you avoid exercise, and associate it with punishment and hating yourself?
  • Have you spent so much time doomscrolling that you've forgotten how to be in your body?
  • Has work or taking care of children made you feel like you don't have time to care of yourself?
  • Do you spend all your time up in your brain, forgetting your body completely until it hurts and forces you to notice it?
  • Do you want to find a spiritual practice that fits for your life?
  • Do you feel like as you get older, you have less access to joy in your body?
  • Are you dealing with chronic conditions that make you feel locked up, constricted, or numb?
  • Do you wish you could feel sexy and playful in your body?

I totally get it — that was me too.

I'm Ariel, and I'll be your dance doula.

I'm the author of three books including Offbeat Bride and From Sh!tshow To Afterglow. I've spent my entire life up in my head, nerding out and completely ignoring my body.

When my life fell apart in 2015 (medical emergency, turning 40, and my marriage abruptly ending), I tried using all my brain's best tools to heal... but it turned out my brain couldn't help. I tried everything -- reading books, talk therapy, seated meditation. My reward was crushing anxiety, insomnia, and debilitating panic attacks. 

In a moment of desperation, crying one night, I put on headphones and started dancing.

Five years later, I'm still dancing.

Won't you join me?


Why is it called Lapdances4god, and what do you mean by GOD?

Despite the cheeky name, Lapdances4god has nothing to do with religion. I use god as a catch-all phrase to describe the energy that moves through everything in the universe, and I think of it as the stuff of physics -- molecules, atoms, explosions! You can use whatever word works for you -- universe, source, the divine whatever. One friend just uses "Stephen Hawking" as his catch-all term. The idea here is just that every morning, we get up and offer our most sensual, essential selves to whatever higher power we feel moving through us.

What's the structure of the course?

  • The course materials include four weeks of five daily dance prompt video modules, each one about 10 minutes long.
  • Each video module offers you a dance theme and a song to explore in your own practice.
  • The course is self-guided, meaning you can complete the daily module at the time of day that works best for you.
  • You'll receive a daily email with a link to that day's module. 

Are there scheduled classes or zooms?

Absolutely not. I think I speak for most of us when I say I am FUCKING DONE with Zoom. The course is a series of 10-minute daily video modules. You can watch them at whatever time of day works for you. Zoom is never involved.

Do I need to be a good dancer?

FUCK NO. This course isn't about choreography or learning TikTok dances -- you don't need to be a "good" dancer! The idea with this kind of lapdance isn't about how it looks, it's how it feels. You don't have to be a skilled dancer to dance daily, and benefit deeply. This isn't a performance, it's a therapeutic spiritual practice.

What if I'm out of shape, or working with a disability?

In this course, I share thoughtful movement prompts for you to practice each day. Each practice is accessible to everyone regardless of gender, health, or ability. With a daily devotional movement practice, it's just about taking the time each day to feel yourself in your body.

We get to feel ourselves in our bodies, even if you're hurting. Especially if we're hurting. I developed this practice while dealing with a painful chronic condition, and have done it in the hospital during treatments. The goal is to find and appreciate the edge of your ability each day, wherever that may be.

Do I have to dance on-screen?

NEVER EVER! Lapdances4god is a personal practice. You will never be asked to dance for anyone but yourself. This is not a group class or a performance-oriented practice.

Daily conscious movement can change your life!

Testimonials from Lapdances4god students:

"This practice is truly transforming. These short but powerful somatic play times are changing me. The Lapdances4god daily practices open new pathways to metabolize grief, find my body in movement every damn day, and enlivening my spirit. I think the world would be so much better if we all danced for ten minutes every morning." -Hope D

"This course was exactly what I was looking for. Each day has a simple outline and the structure lets you dive in as deeply as you want, whether that's just getting your body used to new movements or going full woo. As someone who had previously dabbled with movement practice but struggled to turn it into a ongoing habit, completing Lapdances4god helped me break that barrier and I've found a daily practice that works for me." -Clare P

"Lapdancing4god is just plain fun! For all the dance-crying I’ve done, I’ve also dance-laughed, dance-goofed off, dance-seduced myself, and dance-blown kisses at my reflection. As a yoga teacher of mine used to say, “It doesn’t matter what it looks like. If you’re feeling it and you’re breathing, you’re doing it right.” Ariel embodies this same energy. She is the cheerleader and dance doula and spiritual big sister of my dreams." -Shannon D.

"You might think starting a daily movement practice called Lapdances4god sounds extremely woo-woo and totally insane, but I’m here to tell you that it’s f*cking life-changing! Ariel is a great guide who offers flexibility and relatability, and she really engages with her community. She’s created a movement course that is introspective, body positive, challenging, enlightening, and AMAZING. " -Amie S.

"I signed up because I wanted to create a dance meditation as daily practice. Ariel was authentic, personal, irreverent, and spiritual... encouraging us to try things in and outside of our comfort zone, things that made us feel silly, sexy, strong, and sacred. I loved the course -- one of my favourite online courses I’ve ever taken! Lapdances4god can be for anyone who loves some form of dancing, whether they’re a dancer or not, who is looking to experience a different relationship with their body." -Marya G.

"This practice has grabbed me by the arm and lifted me out of the deepest physical and mental funk. I have suffered from arthritis in most of my joints, with the additional burden of a substantial weight gain, this past year I have just been in pain ALL the time. Since starting a daily dance practice, I have been able to get out of bed and get down the stairs feeling more secure that my feet and legs are solid. I feel like I have received an injection of VITALITY. I am relearning how to engage with my body and I feel… ALIVE!  This work has transformed me!!!" -Theresa M.

Join almost 250 lapdancers who have birthed their own daily devotional movement practice!

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30-day self-directed course including email series and video modules

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Video modules
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Daily email prompts
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Lapdances4god: 30 days of conscious dance

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